Sex and drugs and rock and roll
Is all my brain and body need
Sex and drugs and rock and roll
Is very good indeed

Keep your silly ways or throw them out the window
The wisdom of your ways, I've been there and I know
Lots of other ways, what a jolly bad show
If all you ever do is business you don't like

Sex and drugs and rock and roll
Sex and drugs and rock and roll
Sex and drugs and rock and roll
Is very good indeed

Every bit of clothing ought to make you pretty
You can cut the clothing, grey is such a pity
I should wear the clothing of Mr. Walter Mitty
See my tailor, he's called Simon, I know it's going to fit

Here's a little bit of advice
You're quite welcome it is free
Don't do nothing that is cut price
You know what that'll make you be
They will try their tricky device
Trap you with the ordinary
Get your teeth into a small slice
The cake of liberty

Sex and drugs and rock and roll
Sex and drugs and rock and roll
Sex and drugs and rock and roll
Sex and drugs and rock and roll

Ow! Ow!
Sex and drugs and rock and roll

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Sex and drugs and rock and roll
Sex and drugs and rock and roll
Sex and drugs and rock and roll
Sex, and drugs, and rock, and roll

Sex, and drugs, and rock, and roll
Sex and drugs ....

In my yellow jersey, I went out on the nick
South Street, Romford, Shopping Arcade
Got a 'Razzle' magazine, I never paid
Inside my jacket and away double quick
Good sense told me once was enough
But I had a cocky eye on more of this stuff
With a 'Razzle' in my pocket back to have another pick

Instead of being sneaky, I strolled inside
I put my thieving hand on something rude
I walked right out with a silhouette of nudes
"Hold on, sonny", said a voice at my side,
"I think you've taken one of my books"
Passers-by gave me dirty looks
"Not me mister", I bravely lied

We stopped by the window of a jeweller's shop
"If it's money for your lunch, I'd have given you a loan"
"Have you got any form? Were you on your own?"
"Round to the station and we'll tell the cops"
"I'm ever so ashamed, it was wicked and rash"
"Here's the book back, and here's the cash"
"I've never stole before, I'll promise I'll stop"

"Crime doesn't pay, you've got honest eyes"
"If we go to the law another thief is born"
"And I'll get the book back, creased and torn"
"So, return what you've taken and apologise"
I gave him back his nudie book
I said I was sorry, I slung my hook
With the 'Razzle' in my pocket as the second prize