We want Freddie for our leader
Freddie is a man of class
We want Freddie for our leader
All stand and raise your champagne glass

Gentlemen and assassins and ladies of the night
I call upon you this evening in the hope of shedding some light
I can't go into detail or finger unfounded fools
But there are some here amongst us that are not playing to the rules

I've rounded up the low-life and local CID
Offered a free massage or else the third degree
There is no simple solution in this life we lead
So make things easy for yourself to the baronage concede

We want Freddie for our leader
Freddie is a man of class
We want Freddie for our leader
All stand and raise your champagne glass

Peace shall not prevail entirely came the stark warning today
From his hospital bed Drip-Fed Fred vowed he was here to stay
"I'll tell you something for nothing", he claimed, "Never in all my days
Have I felt so intimidated by the cheap tactics on display"

Ahh-ah-ah-ah
Ahh-ah-ah-ah

We want Freddie for our leader
Freddie is a man of class
We want Freddie for our leader
All stand and raise your champagne glass

And approaching the pulpit, the Right Honourable Reverend Greene
"We're gathered here this evening to pay our due respects
To Drip-Fed Fred who late last night fell out of his prison bed
We know the nonce behind it, who slipped the night PD - ooh
The word is out now without doubt you will answer to me"

Gentlemen and assassins and ladies of the night
I call upon you this evening in the hope of shedding new light
There is a simple solution one called honour amongst thieves
So we'll take pity on your souls and only cap your knees

Ahh-ah-ah-ah
Ahh-ah-ah-ah
Ahh-ah-ah-ah
Ahh-ah-ah-ah

We want Freddie for our leader
Freddie is a man of class
We want Freddie for our leader
All stand and raise your champagne glass

We want Freddie for our leader
Freddie is a man of class
We want Freddie for our leader
All stand and raise your champagne glass...

Winnie The Pooh is having a wank
"And what are you up to?" said Tommy the Tank
Peter the Rabbit is at it as well
And all the young pixies in Dingelydell

Singing: "Fuck off Noddy, you stupid prat"
"Fuck off Noddy in your rotten hat"

Sinbad the Sailor is drunk as a sack
Mary Contrary is flat on her back
Pinky and Perky are having a snog
Little Miss Muffet’s been sick as a dog

Singing: "Fuck off Noddy, you little prick"
"Fuck off Noddy, you get on my wick"

Happy and Dopey are smoking a joint
Sneezy’s flaked out, he can’t see the point
"Fuck this for a lark" said Sweet Jack of Hearts
"Which one of you bastards has shit on my tarts?"

Singing: "Fuck off Noddy you bloodless berk"
"Fuck off Noddy, you’re just a jerk"

Fuck off Noddy, you smelly turd
Fuck off Noddy you’re so absurd
Fuck off Noddy you stupid prat
Fuck off Noddy in your rotten hat
Fuck off Noddy you little wimp
Fuck off Noddy you’re a piss brained shrimp
Fuck off Noddy you stupid prat
Fuck off Noddy in your rotten hat

I made Mary cry
In a lonley bus shelter
I put in my laundry tongs
In the back of her leg

Severed a hamstring
In the lonley bus shelter
I paid no attention
But I made Mary beg

I’m walking the floor
In a white dormatory, called Barley Lane Hospital
I’m dreaming my dreams
In a cold iron bed shhh

Fourteen more days
In a white hospital dormetory
I shall catch up with Mary
I’ll fuck all your tears away

hahahahahhahahahhahahahaha
ha ha h ah aha

I sleep for tonight
In a lonley bus shelter
And with me for comfort
I shall my cuddle tongs
When Mary passes through
My lonley bus shelter
I shall stick 'em right up her jacksie
I shall put ??? to her ???

I have lived almost fifty years, and I've seen life as it is: pain, misery, hunger,
cruelty beyond belief, I have heard the singing from taverns and moans from the
bundles of filth in the streets. I've been a soldier, and seen my comrades fall in battle,
or die more slowly under the lash in Africa. I've held them in my arms at the final
moment. These were men who saw life as it is, yet they died, despairing - no glory,
no gallant last words, only their eyes filled with confusion, wimpering, questioning.
Why? I do not think they asked why they were dying, but why they had ever lived.