Ten More Turnip from the Tip
Released March 2002

 

Side 1

Side 2

Dance Little Rude Boy

I Could Lie

I Believe

One Love

It Ain't Cool

Happy Hippy

Cowboys

Books and Water

Ballard of the Sulphate Strangler

You're the Why

 

DANCE LITTLE RUDE BOY


Hey!
With your natty threads and your nifty dreads
And the Dagenham royal swagger
With your tricky spiels and your Cuban heels
And the face of a carpet-bagger

With your sweet cologne and your mobile phone
And the moves of a desperado
You will cut a swathe on your gangster's lathe
And an overdose of bravado

We see you're double hip to the trippy tip
And you're searching every quarter
You can throw more shapes than a jack-a-napes
To someone's lovely daughter

So dance little rude boy, dance
Dance little rude boy, dance
Dance little rude boy, dance
You've got to know something

Drive me to distraction
Drive me raving mad
Drive me to the action
Take me one more tad

Drive me to the west wing
Drive me to the right
Drive me to the best thing
That has happened to me all night

Hey!
You turned up trumps in your purple pumps
And a little bit of made to measure
With your shiny frock and your yellow socks
You're addressing it to your pleasure

With an urchin crop and a skimpy top
You've got to have a good thing going
With your lazy grace and your crazy face
Who cares if your slip is showing?

Now we can see you're hip to the mother ship
When you pop into the north horizon
You're the one who's having all the fun
With everybody's eyes on

So dance little rude girl, dance
Dance little rude girl, dance
Dance little rude girl, dance
You've got to know something!

Make me go bananas
Make me feel so right
Take me to Nirvana
And leave me there all night

Make me hit the ceiling
Send me round the bend
Take me back to Ealing
When the evening ends

Hey!
With your natty threads and your nifty dreads
And the Dagenham royal swagger
With your tricky spiels and your Cuban heels
And the face of a carpet-bagger

With your sweet cologne and your mobile phone
And the moves of a desperado
You will cut a swathe on your gangster's lathe
And an overdose of bravado

So dance little rude boy, dance
Dance little rude boy, dance
Dance little rude boy, dance
You've got to know something!

Drive me to distraction
Drive me raving mad
Drive me to the action
Take me one more tad

Drive me to the west wing
Drive me to the right
Drive me to the best thing
That has happened to me all night

Make me go bananas
Make me feel so right
Take me to Nirvana
And leave me there all night

Make me hit the ceiling
Send me round the bend
Take me back to Ealing
When the evening ends

 

I BELIEVE

 

I believe in bottle banks
And beauty from within
I believe in saying thanks
And fresh air on the skin

I believe in healthy walks
As tonic for the feet
I believe in serious talks
And just enough to eat

That's what I believe
Although it seems na´ve
I believe in Santa Claus
To give is to receive
That's what I believe

I believe in 'Bob-a-Job'
And life in outer space
I believe an open gob
Does nothing for your face

I believe in being nice
In spite of what you think
I believe in good advice
And not too much to drink

That's what I believe
(laughs) Surprising as it seems
I believe that happiness
Is well within our dreams

That's what I believe
Although it seems na´ve
I believe that peace and love
Are there to be achieved

I believe in being fair
St. Pancras station from the air
I believe in taking care
Moonshine sparkles in your hair

I believe in being true
In everything you try to do
I believe in me and you
And I hope you share my point of view

I believe in being kind
Especially when it's hard
I believe an open mind
Can show a fine regard

I believe that manners make
A person good to know
I believe in birthday cake
And going with the flow

That's what I believe
As strange as it may be
I believe this attitude
Is good enough for me

That's what I believe
Although it seems na´ve
I believe it simplifies
The tangled web we weave

That's what I believe

That's what I believe

That's what I believe

That's what I believe

That's what I believe

That's what I believe

(That's what I believe), That's what I believe

(That's what I believe), That's what I believe

(That's what I believe, That's what I believe, That's what I believe)

 

IT AIN'T COOL

 

You think it's cool to make me wait with bated breath for what you'll say
You think it's cool to be the overlord of all that you survey
You think it's clever being clever that you wear your fortune well
You think it's cool to be the foxy one, but time alone will tell

That it ain't cool
(It ain't cool)
It ain't cool
(It ain't cool)

You think it's cool to be the comic, making cracks at my expense
You think it's cool to sit in judgement when I ain't got no defence
You think it's witty being witty when you know my tongue is tied
You think it's cool to be a prankster but your jokes are passing wide

It ain't cool
(It ain't cool)
It ain't cool
(It ain't cool)

It ain't cool to count your blessings one by one (it ain't cool)
It ain't cool to say you've done what you ain't done (it ain't cool)
It ain't cool to claim your winnings when you poop on your beginnings
And another person's innings has begun

You think it's cool to be a sharpy as you cut me down to size
But it ain't cool (it ain't cool)
You think it's cool to brush aside the little people you despise
But it ain't cool (it ain't cool)
You think it's nifty being nifty, and you think you're no-one's fool
But you ain't cool (you ain't cool)
You think it's cool to hold your victim up to cruel ridicule
But it ain't cool (it ain't cool)

It ain't cool to be a cucker
It ain't cool to be a crut
It ain't cool to make your mucker
Wait upon their if, you, but
It ain't cool to think you're pucker
When you're tearing off a sheet
It ain't cool to make a sucker out of everyone you meet
It ain't cool (it ain't cool)

It ain't cool to count your blessings one by one (it ain't cool)
It ain't cool to say you've done what you ain't done (it ain't cool)
It ain't cool to do subtraction, when you're checking every fraction
Now your little piece of action has begun

It ain't cool (it ain't cool)
It ain't cool (it ain't cool)
It ain't cool (it ain't cool)
It ain't cool (it ain't cool)
It ain't cool (it ain't cool)
It ain't cool (it ain't cool)
It ain't cool (it ain't cool)
It ain't cool (it ain't cool)
It ain't cool

COWBOYS

 

They say it's tough out there and that's for sure
You pay your way twice over if not more
They say that's the price of fame and now you've made your name
Your friends don't even treat you like they used to do before
They quote the many stars who've died so young
From the firmament you seek to walk among
They tell you who went mad, who went from good to bad
And they warn you of the dangers that await the highly strung

Who the hell are they?
And who cares what they say?
Who only seek to worry and alarm
Don't give those dogs their day
Don't let them get their way
'Cos I can see that fame's done you no harm

They say what you sacrifice to be the best
Means you lose all other purpose in your quest
They say that fame's your only goal and it messes up your soul
And they mention Elvis Presley and you're supposed to know the rest
They tell you cherish every minute that you're hot
So at least you'll have some memories when you're not
They say when fame becomes the spur, you abandon what you were
Which makes it that much harder to give up what you've got

Who the hell are they?
And who cares what they say?
Who only deal in envy and despair
Don't give those dogs their day
Don't let them get their way
I'm glad to see your picture everywhere

They say celebrity extracts a heavy toll
That the devil soon appears to take control
They say it leads you by the nose and they recite the names of those
Who've bled upon the alter of the demon Rock and Roll

Who the hell are they?
And who cares what they say?
Who only seek to worry and alarm
Don't give those dogs their day
Don't let them get their way
'Cos I can see that fame's done you no harm

 

BALLAD OF THE SULPHATE STRANGLER

 

Are we rolling?
Here we go then
And one, two, three,
Two, two, three


A boy was born to Jack and Marge in 1951
And what is love, is love, is love
And what is done, is done
The baby grew in size and rage
Beyond his normal years
And when there's blood on every page
The diary ends in tears

One, two, three, four,
And I won't forget the strangler
He's a lesson to us all
A knight in shining armour
And nearly ten feet tall
I won't forget the strangler
He's the Bournemouth Buckaroo
His friends will always weep for him
And this I tell you true

I met him up in Finchley the man from TFA
He drove a black three-tonner containing our PA
He wore a thousand earrings and a diamond on his tooth
His multi-hued proboscis betrayed a stormy youth
The strangler on his roller-skates was over six foot ten
He had a double set of documents in the names of other men
Been on the road or off the road a thousand times since then
I only wish there'd come a chance to do it all again

And I won't forget the strangler
And nor will many more
Salute the mighty strangler
Hear the mighty strangler roar
I won't forget the strangler
He's as volatile as wind
If no one's getting loopy, then no one's getting chinned

Later in the saga, we come to chapter two
Of big Pete Rush the strangler, the Bournemouth Buckaroo
We hit the road together, the Blockheads and their crew
A gram of whiz, a drop of vod, a can of special brew
From Spain to San Francisco we blazed a funky trail
With occasional disbursements to keep the strangler out of jail
When we got to New York City we had to let him go
'Cos the dramas going on backstage were better than the show

And I won't forget the strangler
And this point we drift apart
He said you placed a dagger now
Right in my strawberry tart
Full bound for death or glory
And worth his weight in gold
When the devil made the strangler, he threw away the mould

These are the scars of the life that I lead
The veins are from drink and the nose is from speed
A Stanley knife here which had me well geed
Do I get cut and do I not bleed?
Each purple patch upon my face
Shall rudely chart my fall from grace
I will not pass the Loving Cup until the patches all join up

Then Jenny came and told the news that big Pete Rush had died
And me and Baxter were so sad, it was a pity how we cried
The mighty sulphate strangler was the last one of his breed
Now he's got a white three-tonner and he's knocking out Godspeed

And I won't forget the strangler
And nor will many more
Salute the mighty strangler
Hear the mighty strangler roar
I won't forget the strangler
He's as volatile as wind
He takes the world's encumbrance
When it wasn't him who sinned

I won't forget the Strangler
I wish he hadn't died
Now he's hanging out with Lynott across the great divide
I won't forget the strangler
He's worth his weight in gold
When the devil made the strangler he threw away the mould

I won't forget the Strangler
I won't forget the Strangler
I won't forget the Strangler
I won't forget the Strangler

 

I COULD LIE

(Sung by Chaz Jankel)

 

I could lie before I could talk
Runaway before I could walk
I could cheat before I could play
I was gone before I could stay

I could curse before I could cry
I could sneer before I could sigh
I could want before I could need
I was awful in thought, word and deed

I could hate before I could feel
I could sell before I could steal
I could creep before I could crawl
I was big before I was small

I could curse before I could cry
I could sneer before I could sigh
I could want before I could need
I was awful in thought, word and deed

La-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-lala
La-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-lala

I could lie before I could talk
Runaway before I could walk
I could cheat before I could play
I was gone before I could stay

I could hate before I could feel
I could sell before I could steal
I could creep before I could crawl
I was big before I was small

I could hurt before I could cry
I could sneer before I could sigh
I could want before I could need
I was awful in thought, word and deed

La-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-lala
La-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-lala
La-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-lala
La-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-lala

laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ONE LOVE

 

One looks for happiness
One longs to find a partner
One knows that nowadays
One love will be the answer

One sees a crazy world
One needs a fresh perspective
One comes to realise
One love's a true objective

One seeks a perfect love
One learns to tell the difference
One finds in consequence
One love is all that makes sense

One hopes there'll be a way
One peers into the distance
One thinks that come what may
One love will be the best chance

One love (one love) and only one (only one)
One love (one love) to last forever
One love (one love), only one love (one love)
One love, it's now or never

One tries to draw a line
One draws a swift conclusion
One tells oneself in life
One love is the solution

One falls in love at last
One celebrates the meeting
One always will because
One love cannot be beaten

One love (one love) and only one (only one)
One love (one love) with no misgivings
One love (one love) only one love (one love)
One love, while we're still living

One tries to draw a line
One draws a swift conclusion
One tells oneself in life
One love is the solution

One falls in love at last
One celebrates the meeting
One always will because
One love cannot be beaten

One love (one love) and only one (only one)
One love (one love) to last forever
One love (one love) only one love (one love)
One love, it's now or never

One love (one love) and only one (only one)
One love (one love) with no misgivings
One love (one love) only one love (one love)
One love, while we're still living

 

HAPPY HIPPY

 

Am-i-mini-snack-mo-oo-guys-oh-er-ooh!(?)

 

I'm hanging up my hang-ups
Ere I turn into a blank automaton
You won't find me on the treadmill
You can tell 'em Willy Boy has been and gone
Yes Mogadon time's over
There'll be an empty bed in Babylon
'Cos I'm a happy hippy
It's beads and Roman sandals from now on

Yes I'm a happy hippy, they call me Mr. Whippy
When everything is crappy, being hippy makes you happy
Yes I'm a happy hippy, and you can bet your bippy
That everybody's happy 'cos everything is trippy

I've found a new position
I don't use chairs and tables anymore
I focus my attention from a lovely purple cushion on the floor
When I look back on the rat-race
I don't regret a thing I've disavowed
With the freedom of an eagle
I can always keep my head above the clouds

'Cos I'm a happy hippy they call me Mr. Whippy
When everything is crappy being hippy makes you happy
Yes I'm a happy hippy and you can bet your bippy
That everybody's happy 'cos everything is trippy

(Good diets everyone?)

Now I 'm a jolly beatnik
I haven't got a worry in the way
My hair grows long and shaggy
As I savour every minute of the day
Immune from all achievement
Since I threw away my telly and my phone
In my pastel pyjamas
Spending every waking moment getting stoned

'Cos I'm a happy hippy they call me Mr. Whippy
When everything is crappy being hippy makes you happy
Yes I'm a happy hippy and you can bet your bippy
That everybody's happy 'cos everything is trippy

 

And everything is trippy, and everything is trippy,

And everything is trippy, and everything is trippy

I'm a happy hippy and everything is trippy
I'm a happy hippy and everything is trippy
I'm a happy hippy and everything is trippy
I'm a happy hippy and everything is trippy

Yippee!

 

BOOKS AND WATER

 

On your nineteenth bump you got the rising hump
As the fruity squalls about to soil your smalls
So take a flying jump at the stirrup pump
Or the Priory walls will have your cobbler's alls
You'll never light the lamp when your match is damp
And it's the sea green snot that really hits the spot
You put the rubber stamp on your stomach cramp
And what has time forgot is better not or what?

 

Books and water
Bricks and mortar
Books and water
You can do what you like on a Saturday night
But you ain't coming home if you feel alright


You take a sherbet dab 'til the next rehab
Tie the nuptial knot of never will ain't got
And under every slab there's even more kebab
Whereby you lose the plot about the truth, so what?
And when they stop the clock upon the disused stock
The only common ground is at the lost and found
And with your arse in hock say thanks a lot old cock
For only fourteen pound I'm Alabamy bound

 

Books and water
Pigs and Slaughter
Books and water
Take a pipe on this and run like hell
If you ain't seen nothing like a ne'er do well

 

On your nineteenth bump you got the rising hump
You play the bing-bang stakes whatever else it takes
So do a flying jump at the stirrup pump
As Zaroathustra spake thus are the breaks
You'll never light the lamp when your match is damp
And it's the sea green snot that really hits the spot
You put the rubber stamp on your stomach cramp
And what has time forgot is better not, or what?

 

Books and water
Bricks and mortar
Books and water
You can do what you like on a Saturday night
But you ain't coming home if you feel alright

 

Books and water
Pigs and Slaughter
Books and water
Take a pipe on this and run like hell
If you ain't seen nothing like a ne'er do well ... well well well well well

 

Books and water
Books and water

 

(IAN'S POEM WRITTEN AND READ BY JOCK SCOTT)

 

I put all my eggs in one basket

The basket that you gave to me

One was called 'Hope'

One was called 'Truth'

Another called 'Peace'

That makes three

Now a moth circles around a bare light bulb

Oddly reminding me of Francis Bacon

And then I wonder just where you are

And what connections you're making

Yes, such a swift departure,

You left me clutching at a half-pint of lager

I looked up and you were gone

Leaving the Blockheads and all your mates

On the stage to carry on

The next generation

Bring 'em on, bring 'em on, bring 'em on

So I'm left with the eggs and the bacon

And you could be oceans away

But if, when I yell

Outside the Gates of Hell

You appear with a smile and a swagger

Maybe we can sit down in the Devil's Arms

And order a fresh pint of lager

 

YOU'RE THE WHY

(Sung by Robbie Williams)

 

I shuffled through the modes of bad behaviour
And hankered for the desolated dawn
I couldn't cope with yet another saviour
To steer me from the way that I was born

Then like a ton of bricks the dawn descended
Recalcitrance was hurtled to the floor
The citadel lay breached and undefended
You brought a love I'd never known before

I want you 'til the seasons lose their mystery
I need you 'til the birds forget to fly
I love you more than anyone in history
Wherever there's a wherefore you're the why

 

Then like a ton of bricks the dawn descended
Recalcitrance was hurtled to the floor
The citadel lay breached and undefended
You brought a love I'd never known before

I want you 'til the seasons lose their mystery
I need you 'til the birds forget to fly
I love you more than anyone in history
Wherever there's a wherefore you're the why

 

I want you 'til the seasons lose their mystery
I need you 'til the birds forget to fly
I love you more than anyone in history
Wherever there's a wherefore you're the why

 

I want you 'til the seasons lose their mystery
I need you 'til the birds forget to fly
I love you more than anyone in history
Wherever there's a wherefore you're the why

 

I want you 'til the seasons lose their mystery
I need you 'til the birds forget to fly
I love you more than anyone in history
Wherever there's a wherefore ..... you're the whhhhyyy

 

Copyright details - All Compositions written by Ian Dury/Chaz Jankel except It Ain't Cool and Happy Hippy written by Ian Dury/Merlin Rhys-Jones and I Believe written by Ian Dury/Mickey Gallagher and Ballard of the Sulphate Strangler written by Ian Dury/ Chaz Jankel/ Norman Watt-Roy.

Published by Templemill Music Ltd, Famous Music and Mute Songs.

No infringement of copyright is intended. The purpose of this site is purely to encourage the sales of Ian Dury and the Blockheads records and allow fans to appreciate the clever lyrics and sing along with the songs.

 

RETURN TO THE IAN DURY ALBUM PAGE