Do It Yourself
Released 18th May 1979
|
Side 1 |
Side 2 |
Bonus tracks on the CD release
In the mirror, when I'm debonair
My reactions are my own affair
A body likes to be near the bone
Oh Nancy, Leslie, Jack and Joan
I die when I'm alone, alone
Shake your booty when your back is bent
Put your feelings where my mouth just went
As serious as things do seem
At least you've put me on the team
And friends, do rule, supreme, OK
Oh, pardon you, me (inbetweenies, inbetweenies)
With a capital 'C' (inbetweenies, inbetweenies)
And who would have thought (inbetweenies, inbetweenies)
With a capital nought (inbetweenies)
In between the lines
Ohhhhhhhhhh
Spread your chickens when you think of next (inbetweenies,
inbetweenies)
What the Dickens if they're highly-sexed
Through channels that were once canals
Do lift the heart of my morale
To know that we are pals, yes
Oh, vanity fair (inbetweenies, inbetweenies)
With a capital 'V' (inbetweenies, inbetweenies)
You give me a share (inbetweenies, inbetweenies)
You take it from me (inbetweenies, inbetweenies)
Oh, jolly good show (inbetweenies, inbetweenies)
With a capital 'O' (inbetweenies, inbetweenies)
It's terrific to go (inbetweenies, inbetweenies)
Hellooo (inbetweenies)
Hello, hello, hello
Hello, hello, hello
Barney Beanies, ultra marinees
Inbetweenies, inbetweenies,
inbetweenies, inbetweenies,
inbetweenies, inbetweenies
Excuse me, excuse me
Get right out of the way
Quiet! (plop-plops)
I'm sorry, beg pardon
The fault's entirely yours
Quiet! (big jobs)
Your Highness, your Worship
You silly pompous ass
Quiet! (ar-arse)
Quiet! You're making such a racket
Quiet! Why must you be so loud?
Quiet! It's costing me a packet
Quiet! Persistent louts and clowns
Hello there
How are you?
Pee off!
Quiet! (three drips)
Look, honest
Really
Lies
Quiet! (prune juice)
How lovely!
How charming!
Horrible
Quiet! (wee-wees)
Quiet! Or else there will be measures
Quiet! Stop this unholy row
Quiet! Shut up, you little treasures
Quiet! When you've been told, and how
Alright little chap
Get back on mummy's lap
There may well be chastisements if you do not shut your trap
Just sit quite still
Fold arms face front
Quiet! You're making such a din din
Quiet! Why don't you please keep quiet?
Quiet! No one else is listening
Quiet! Utterly sick and tired
Quiet!
Sh, sh, sh,
sh, sh, sh
Here I stand
With a doughnut for a brain
On my life, I must see you again
I should think that's made it very plain
Is it is
Is it is or is it ain't?
Don't ask me
To leave it out
Or turn it up
Or pack it in
Don't ask me
Don't ask me
Don't ask
Don't ask me
I'm an ignorant, I'm afraid
On my life, I believe we're tailor made
I should worry if the weather spoils the trade
I'm a crumb
And I'm in your lemonade
Don't ask me
To knock it off
Or cut it short
Or jack it in
Don't ask me
Don't ask me
Don't ask
Let me offer you
My life and all my love
Let me offer you a bargain
What a lovely range
Don't forget the change
Don't ask
Don't ask
Don't ask
Don't ask me to make a sacrifice
On my life, I'm cheap at half the price
Won't you try a portion or a slice?
Slightly warm
But very, very nice
Don't ask me
To leave it out
Or turn it up
Or pack it in
Don't ask me
Don't ask me
Don't ask
Don't ask, Don't ask, Don't ask, Don't ask, Don't ask, Don't ask, Don't ask
I've got the feeling but I ain't got
the skill
And I don't like your suggestion
Will you still love me when I'm over the hill
Is another stupid question
Don't deny that I show disrespect
Ask me why I don't change the subject
Justify but it has no effect
My reply is that I've been ship-wrecked
You try to be sly but you're so overt
And you know the main objection
It's the passionate pressure that you exert
In the opposite direction
I'm afraid that it seems evident
Though you stay now it's time that you went
Don't persuade me with your blandishment
The old maids had her bad accident
Sink my boats! (Sink my boats)
Once again! (Once again)
Sink my boats! (Sink my boats)
Crash my plane
Justify, but it has no effect
My reply is that I've been shipwrecked
Sink my boats! (Sink my boats)
Once again! (Once again)
Sink my boats! (Sink my boats)
Once again! (Once again)
Sink my boats! (Sink my boats)
Once again! (Once again)
Sink my boats! (Sink my boats)
Crash .....
Waiting for your taxi
Which taxi never comes
Waiting for your taxi
Waiting for your taxi
Which taxi never comes
Waiting for your taxi
Waiting for your taxi
Which taxi never comes
Waiting for your taxi
Waiting for your taxi
Which taxi never comes
Waiting for your taxi
Waiting for your taxi
Which taxi never comes
Waiting for your taxi
Waiting for your taxi
Which taxi never comes
Waiting for your taxi
Waiting for your taxi
Which taxi never comes
Waiting for your taxi
Which taxi never comes
Waiting for your ... TAXI!
Morning Reg, meat and two veg?
He done him with a ten pound sledge he done himself a favour crash
Forty year old housewife, Mrs. Elizabeth Walk of Lambeth Walk
Had a husband who was jubblified with only half a
stalk
So she had a milk of magnesia and curry powder sandwich, half a pound of uncut
pork
Took an overdose of Omo, this made the neighbours
talk
Could have been watching Frankie Vaughan on the telly and giving herself a
scratch
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
A sense of humour is required
Amongst the bacon rind
Hello, Brian, wash and iron?
Try it on, it's only nylon
Single bachelor with little dog, Tony Green of Turnham Green
Said, "Who's a clever boy, then, girl, yes you know whom I mean"
'Cos the mongrel laid a cable in the sandpit of the playground of the park
where they had been
And with a bit of tissue, he wiped its bum-hole clean
A bit of claggy on the waggy
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
They must have had a funny time
On the Golden Hind
O vanitas vanitatum
Which of us is happy in this life?
Which of us has our desire, or having it, is gratified?
Hello, Mrs. Wood this boy looks familiar, they used to call him Robin Hood
Now he's robbin' fuckin' shit cunt
Home improvement expert Harold Hill of Harold Hill
Of do-it-yourself dexterity and double-glazing skill
Came home to find another gentleman's kippers in the grill
So sanded off his winkle with his Black and Decker drill
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
The hope that springs eternal
Springs right up your behind
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
Bankrupt the banks
Withhold the rent
Shitters are a wank
And the landlord's bent
It's time that the babies kept quiet
No it ain't
Open up the nicks
Close down the schools
The law is a prick
Not fit to write the rules
It's time that the babies kept quiet
No, they're cool
Time that the babies kept quiet
No it isn't, don't be silly
Uneasy sunny day hotsy totsy
Uneasy hotsy totsy sonny
Jim
Question your besotment
With a manky job
Squat on your alloment
For thirty bob
It's time that the babies kept quiet
Shut your gob!
Melt the guns
Dismantle the bombs
Love your neighbour
Wherever they're from
It's time that the babies kept quiet
Up your bum!
Time that the babies kept quiet
No it isn't, don't be silly
Uneasy sunny day hotsy totsy
Uneasy hotsy totsy sonny
Jim
London going junkie
Young and full of spunky
Don't care what you tell us
Old and fat and jealous
Uneasy hotsy totsy sunny
day
Pills for fun
Damn the news
Different choice
Different things to choose
It's time that the babies kept quiet
Drink your booze!
Time that the babies kept quiet
No it isn't, don't be daft
Uneasy sunny day hotsy totsy
Uneasy hotsy totsy sunny
Uneasy sunny day hotsy totsy
Uneasy hotsy totsy porkie pies!
Popeye Pearce is pimple, Laurence Smith is hard
Ricky loves a kicking and he wants to join the guards
Barry breaks the windows of his broken home
Have a guess. His tiny mind's been scarred
Lionel touches women when they're walking through the park
He goes in people's gardens nicking laundry in the dark
Roger left a sleeper across the District Line
His dad's a shipping clerk
Boys let's have a laugh
Let's have some mischief
Fill a Durex full of water
And throw it on a bus - that would be mischief
Take a pigeon to the pictures
Let's cause a bit of fuss - a bit of mischief
Let's go bloody raving mad
Let's do something really bad
They won't forget the day you had
Some mischief
Jack and Stan are tossing pals like monkeys in the zoo
When they got caught by Gonad Gibbs they had to wank
him too
Incentive didn't want two of Dave - Get it?
He failed his interview (failed his interview) - Oh yeah?
She's got crinkly hair
Underneath her underwear
I know because I've been there
(Anticipation, anticipate)
Wow!
Wow!
Don't let's hang about
Let's have some mischief
Here, pour locking fluid on a Bentley, then let down his tyres
Hahahahaha
Let's go and kill some kiosks, start a few more fires
Could this be mischief?
Let's go completely over the top
Let's do the bop that just won't stop
Let's go and have another drop
Of mischief
I'm sorry I done it, I'm sorry I done it, I'm sorry I done it, I'm sorry I done
it, I'm sorry I done it,
I'm sorry I done it, I'm sorry I done it, I'm sorry I done it,
I'm sorry I done it, I'm sorry I done it,
I'm sorry I done it!, I'm sorry I done it!, I'm sorry I done it!,
I'm sorry I done it!, I'm sorry I done it!
So I'm screaming this to you. Wah!
From the last place in the queue. Wah
wah wah!
I really think you'd like me given half a chance
And since you ain't got that I'll do the screamers
dance
Some of us are ugly angel some of us are only small
Some of us are useless, say they haven't got the wherewithal
We went and missed the end bit, but we never quite caught the bus
We never speak our minds, my love, we have got nothing to discuss
Some of us are witty love, it comes from facing up to facts
It's hard to be a hero, handsome, when you've had your helmet cracked
Cheerfulness is catching, sweetie, when the fevers you have got
We've got a proper chill, my dear, we simply haven't got the hots
So I'm screaming this to you. Wah!
Silly season, skies are blue. Wah wah
wah wah wah
wah wah!
I hardly ever think I've made a small advance
I keep my elbows in and do the screamers dance
Don't!
Some of us are stupid, sister, some of us are very shy
Some of us get nervous, chicken, when you look us in the eye
We're ever so pathetic, d'you know, we know quite
well we try too hard
Some of us were born like this, boss, others got it by the yard
So I'm screaming this to you. Wah!
'Cos I haven't got a clue. Wah!
I really know I'd like you given half a chance
And since we ain't got that
I'll do the screamers dance
Wah!
Wah wah wah
wah!
Wah!
Wah wah wah
wah wah wah....!
Go to sleep now, Frances
You've done all you can with the day
Safe and sound, that's a promise
You'll be welcome in the Milky Way
Tumble down, tired and true
Spirit to restore, a balance is due
Go to sleep now, Frances
Close your eyes
Hang your thoughts up, shut the index
It's time to impose a curfew
And you'll get up, fresh and ready
With a hundred and one things to do
Drowsy now, here comes a space
Call a halt to the steeple chase
Go to sleep, Frances
Close your eyes
If your life or some old lover cause concern
Or puzzle or perturb
The more you discover, the more you learn
Go to sleep, please do not disturb
Tumble down, tired and true
Spirit to restore, a balance is due
Go to sleep now, Frances
Close your eyes
Go to sleep now, Frances
Close your eyes
Go to sleep now, Frances
Go to sleep
Frances
Frances
Copyright details - All compositions
written by Ian Dury/Chaz Jankel.
Originally published by Blackhill
Music Ltd, now published by Templemill Music Ltd.
No infringement of copyright is intended. The purpose of this site
is purely to encourage the sales of Ian Dury and the
Blockheads records and allow fans to appreciate the clever lyrics and sing
along with the songs.